Saturday, November 21, 2015

"A Lot of the Credit Goes to You" -- The Colonel Carries On #6


There are those who argue that the Vermeer tronie reproduced above marks the point at which the Middle Ages ended and the the Renaissance began.

A tronie (16/17th-century Dutch for "face") is a common type, or group of types, of works common in Dutch Golden Age painting and Flemish Baroque painting that shows an exaggerated facial expression or a stock character in costume.

Almost-epigraph: “I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.” -Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., writer (1922-2007)

Sarah J. Liners is torn between clapping because she’s not cold and weeping because the weather means it must be global warming and we’ll have to be tick-vigilant all year round.

We have to take a class in how to work our new gas fireplace insert. Did cave dwellers have to take classes to work their new fireplace inserts?

In the war, green frogs were drafted to work in defense plants. The most famous was Rosie D. Ribbeter.

Chuck Norris turducken: turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken stuffed with the original turkey. (He also counted to infinity. Twice. While his turducken was cooking.)

Sarah J. Liners says they should come up with a better name for turducken because who wants to eat anything whose name starts with those four letters? Well, we could go with the name spell check wants for turducken: "turn-buckle." Yum.

“Why does that murder of crows keep chanting my name?” thought Caw.

Need an aggressive attorney? Try (Kidding. But the URL is available.)

Connecticut may soon get mandatory continuing legal education (MCLE) for the wonderful reason that most other states have it.

Syrian refugees should have regular doctors and not be vetted.

Chuck Norris can run around the world so fast he has time to fire his own starting gun.

As The Beatles said so succinctly, “Happiness is a warm gun. Bang bang, shoot shoot.” They knew.

As seen on TV: It slices and dices and imbues your life with meaning.

We shop for luxuries to escape the monotony of shopping for necessities.

The many words for “snow” have met their match in the many spellings of “Honica.”

“When we lack the will to see things as they really are, there is nothing so mystifying as the obvious.” --Irving Kristol

According to legend, if not actual history, Harold Macmillan was once asked what he most feared could derail his agenda. The British prime minister allegedly said, “Events, my dear boy, events.” (As far as we know, "dear boy" was just an expression and not a scandal.)

“What the American public wants is a tragedy with a happy ending.” --William Dean Howells

“Fudgewit” is a euphemism for a dope, but I prefer to think of it as a zombie chocoholic’s nickname for a person with a tasty brain.

Marshrigger’s Admonition: “Never interrupt the person who has the floor if your interruption contains the words ‘I think it’s important.’”

"In politics, it is necessary either to betray one's country or the electorate.  I prefer to betray the electorate." – Charles De Gaulle. But for “nil nisi bonum,” the words “arrogant,” “pompous,” and “equine posterior” could be strung together descriptively.

“The north end of a horse pointing south” is a nifty euphemism, but the part of the image I like best is a horse “pointing” like a hunting dog.

“Godzilla vs. Entropy”: A long movie to the end of which no one stays.

And penultimately, a harvest of clickbait with the links removed, because I respect your time. Up to a point.

Self-driving car gets pulled over
The women who claim to have affairs with ghosts
The guy who wasted $718,000 on psychics
Why some people just don’t care
Uranus might be full of surprises
Science: Coffee makes you live longer
Science: Men eat more to impress women
How dogs created civilization
Corgi likes to be vacuumed
Amusement park lets chimpanzee smoke cigarettes
Supercut of inspirational sports-movie speeches
Luke Skywalker is a homicidal maniac
The history of fictional organized crime
Why English is so weird
Why Beowulf still matters
Is Donald Trump Beowulf?
Earn $13,000/year selling your stool
The great Arabian goat pageant
Carly Simon reveals who was so vain
Lego Captain America fights Nazi zombies
“The point of looking up from the hurly-burly of our daily lives to see the sun in the day and the moon and the stars at night is not to look down again with a new humility and sense of insignificance, but with the sense that the hurly-burly of our daily lives is as beautiful, important, and majestic as the sun, the moon, and the stars.” --Zandor Halasz

Happy Thanksgiving.

No comments: