Friday, February 11, 2011

A Call to Action: Do You Want to BE the News or MAKE the News?

COMMENTARY

My name is Jennifer Mahr, and I write for the EYE using my initials JAM. I was at Tuesday night's Board of Ed meeting since I'm the one who normally summarizes the meeting for EYE postings. I wish each of you could have been there to hear Alexa McClain and then Monique McClain speak before the board. The utter helplessness of the moment can't be captured by mere words, and I still shudder to recall the horror that griped me.


So she stood there, sobbing, and speaking so softly that the entire room had to lean forward to catch her words. Amazingly, the audience was full of teachers and administrators from across the District who came to see if February's vacation would be cancelled, so the "system" couldn't have been more exposed to McClain's plight. Interestingly, though, because Monique used the democratic process we the people created to handle grievances such as hers, she's now facing an even greater threat to her personal safety.

There are almost 3 dozen comments on three articles that describe this situation, and most condemn the behavior and then say something to the effect of "I applaud your family for being so brave."

I'm sorry, but someone is going to have to throw the big red BS flag, so it might as well be me. I confess to having taught U.S. History at the college level, and I admit to having a slight preference for all things democratic. I just can't stand what I'm seeing and hearing anymore, and if you're allergic to the cold hard truth, you had better stop reading now.

In the Federalist No. II, John Jay wrote to the people of the State of New York and encouraged them to support the newly drafted Federal Constitution. Alexander Hamilton had written the first letter, and Jay's first paragraph and a half are worth repeating now:
When the people of America reflect that they are now called upon to decide a question, which, in its consequences, must prove one of the most important that ever engaged their attention, the propriety of their taking a very comprehensive, as well as a very serious, view of it, will be evident.
Nothing is more certain that the indispensable necessity of government, and it is equally undeniable, that whenever and however it is instituted, the people must cede to it some of their natural rights, in order to vest it with requisite powers.
Abraham Lincoln would say much later that "The legitimate object of governments is to do for a community of people, whatever they need to have done, but cannot do at all or cannot, so well do for themselves - in their separate and individual capacities."

Then we have the 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which reads in Section 1, "All persons born or naturalized in the United States and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."

I'm not a Constitutional Lawyer, and I know that both Jay and Lincoln were referring to a Federal system of government when they made their comments. But listen to the spirit of what they said and then apply it to Monique McClain and all the other bullied children in the United States.

Jay and Lincoln had their moments: each stood at the edge of the unknown and each agreed that the united system of government created by the Constitution was our best hope for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Americans might disagree over the technical details of how that system comes to life, but we need it to have any chance at all.

Similarly, we need a Board of Education in our town. Middletown's forty-five thousand-plus residents have no way to manage 11 schools, hundreds of teachers, and thousands of school children without one. We wouldn't want the State of CT to manage our schools from afar, so politics are local because they have to be.

So here we are, in this place and in this moment. A very brave young woman stood in front of elected officials and reminded them nicely that she is experiencing repeated, verified, bullying incidents. Her mother has followed all the steps outlined in BOE Policy 5131.911, but these have not stopped the unacceptable behavior. Policy 5131.911 says in part:
The Board of Education directs the Superintendent or his/her designee to develop and implement administrative regulations to address the existence of bullying in the schools. As provided by statute, such regulations shall:
(9) direct the development of case-by-case interventions for addressing repeated incidents of bullying against a single individual or recurrently perpetrated bullying incidents by the same individual that may include both counseling and discipline,
Looking at the specific language of the "Prevention and Intervention Strategy, " it says:
For the purposes of this policy, “Prevention and Intervention Strategy” may include, but shall not be limited to:

1. Implementation of a positive behavioral interventions and supports process or another evidence-based model approach for safe school climate or for the prevention of bullying, including any such program identified by the Department of Education.
2. A school survey to determine the prevalence of bullying.
3. Establishment of a bullying prevention coordinating committee with broad representation
to review the survey results and implement the strategy.
4. School rules prohibiting bullying, harassment, and intimidation and establishing
appropriate consequences for those who engage in such acts.
5. Adequate adult supervision of outdoor areas, hallways, the lunchroom, and other specific
areas where bullying is likely to occur.
6. Inclusion of grade-appropriate bullying prevention curricula in kindergarten through high
school.
7. Individual interventions with the bully, parents; and school staff, and interventions with
the bullied child, parents; and the school staff.
8. School wide training related to safe school climate.
9. Promotion of parent involvement in bullying prevention through individual or team
participation in meetings, trainings, and individual interventions.

Students who engage in bullying behavior shall be subject to school discipline up to and including expulsion in accordance with the Board's policy on student discipline, suspension and expulsion.

Notice #5 calls for "adequate adult supervision." If there can be 11 specifically identified bullies, then there isn't adequate adult supervision. Notice also that it says "shall not be limited to." I read this to mean that Monique McClain should have never heard the words, "Our hands are tied, " or "We've done all we can," because this policy specifically lets the Intervention Strategy be anything it needs to be to stop the bullying.

How about that...ANYTHING it needs to be. Here's where I'm throwing the big red BS flag, and here's where our current situation differs from the Federalists and from Lincoln. Those giants of American History really didn't know what lay in front of them. They had an ideal they were committed to, they were hopefully sure they knew how to get there, and they went for it. They argued and eventually shed blood for a solid foundation to build a future on.

The Middletown Board of Education has no such excuse. We know what the future can hold when bullying goes unchecked. Just ask South Hadley, MA how it's going for them...

So here's my question: Do we want to BE the news when (or if) something physically happens to Monique McClain or do we want to MAKE news by pulling together as a community and seriously tackling this issue once and for all? Our moment is right now, and we can choose action or we can hide behind ineffective policies and well-meaning but utterly useless comments.

In the biblical story of Esther, a young Jewish girl becomes the Queen of Persia. Her nationality is a secret until a plot by the King's highest ranking official to exterminate the entire Jewish race forces her to a decision point: she can risk her own life by approaching the King (without being summoned) to plead for her people, or she can hope her royal position saves her life when everyone else dies. Her uncle urges her action, noting in Esther 6:14, "....And who knows but that you have come to a royal position for such a time as this?"

I'm not trying to suggest that BOE members are royalty, but I am saying that they are in their position for such a time as this. The Chairman, Mr. Raczka, is a lawyer by trade, so he certainly has the skills to craft a policy that will give Monique McClain and all other bullied children in Middletown the protection they deserve. His leadership and determination to get it right can make a difference, and he needs to do it right now. Why hasn't this issue made it on the agenda of a Board of Ed meeting?

Benjamin Franklin said to "Show thyself a man." Updated for today's sensitivity toward gender equality, I'll paraphrase that to say, "Show thyself a citizen." That means we can't sit this one out on the sidelines, and we can't expect someone else to do it for us. We need the Board of Ed to facilitate this process, but it seems that will only come at our insistence.

So I insist. You insist. We insist. Mr. Raczka told me on Monday afternoon that he welcomes emails from concerned parents and Middletown residents, so let them fly. Here's his email address: tedvr@cttel.net

Here's what we should want:

1. Immediate resolution to Monique McClain's educational status. If the Woodrow Wilson administration can't guarantee her a threat-free in-school environment, then the district must provide her with access to another school. If there isn't a policy that establishes how this happens, then make one. We Americans are good at inventing things that don't exist when government can't or won't protect us.

2. Who are these bullies and where are their parents? Let's see documented proof that the parents were notified in accordance with District policy, and then let's figure out how to hold parents accountable for their children's behavior. How about the District levels a fine per documented bullying instance? Or how about we go after the parent's driver's license? I know those rules don't exist, but why couldn't they?

3. If bullies need a babysitter, then I volunteer my time. It won't cost the District a penny. There's only one of me, so maybe a BOE member or several will follow suit. And those of you who told the McClain family that you stand alongside them in their fight should be willing to babysit as well. I'm sure the sheer embarrassment factor of having a random, really annoyed adult shadow will dampen any enthusiasm for further in-school bullying. The adult shadow should also be able to bill babysitting charges to the bully's parents.

4. Let's make news and make Middletown the center of national attention on this issue for the right reason. Let's partner with Wesleyan and Middlesex Community College and other local campuses and empower our young minds to work on a lasting solution. Get the experts here for a national conference and invite everyone in town to participate. Call Oprah and Katie and anyone else you can think of and let's do this.

Or, the moment will pass and we'll go back to shoveling snow, and Middletown will probably be in the news again for yet another tragedy. Can you live with that? If our bullying policy in effect creates a situation where one child has unequal access to the educational system, we already know what that should mean. If your child is next, what hope will there be for you? The next regular BOE meeting is March 8. You have three minutes to tell the board what you think. I'll see you there.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Why not have the parent of the bully be the babysitter. No need to pay them.

Anonymous said...

You did an amazing job of putting this together. Now Frechette needs to step up to the plate and be good on his word. I would start with fining the parents. Hit them where it hurts the most - maybe they cannot control their kid, so they can ask for help. Bullies generally come from Bullies. It would be my guess someone in the household is also a bully to this bully.

Anonymous said...

I can't tell you how many parents I've met who have left Middletown--packed up and sold their houses and moved to Portland, Haddam, Durham and Middlefield because of incidents like this. It's under the radar..an incident happens, school does nothing or their hands are tied and they say "Honey, we're moving!" They don't want to continue to expose their children to these environments. So the good kids leave and you're left with really the lowest of the low--did you read what those kids wrote? I was appalled and disgusted by them and their parents who let their kids get away with this. This is a sad case and wish we could all get together and have a sit down with these 11 parents and make them do something. Sadly this is not unusual. How many other good, hard working children are these 11 harassing? I'm sure it's not just one as bullying is a lifestyle not an incident.

Anonymous said...

Very well said!

Why not replace the board members who refuse to do their job with people who will enforce the rules in place.
TT

Karen Swartz said...

send you complaints to tedvr@cttel.net like JAM's article urges. I did. I am disgusted that the bullying is being allowed to continue. The Board needs to hear directly from citizens.

David Sauer said...

Many years ago (in the reign of Dr. Larson) Middletown had an off campus facility where a small number of discipline problems were kept segregated from the rest of the students. Since they were still legally in school, going to classes, etc., the restrictions regarding suspension/expulsion did not come into play. This was not the Alternative High School, and it was not a voluntary program. Does that program still exist? Is it still legal/possible to do such a thing? It was reported to be a highly effective program because the students sent there hated being separated from their friends (and their victims. If I remember correctly it was only for High School students. If it does still exist perhaps it needs to be expanded to Middle school students as well. If it no longer exists, and it is still legal, we ought to look into it. I like the idea of sending malefactors to a different school a whole lot more than forcing the victims to go elsewhere.

Anonymous said...

Why not provide a voucher?

If the school refuses to provide a safe learning environment by expelling disruptive students then good students should get a voucher to support them at better school.

If the school does (effectively) nothing and the student can't relocate then I suggest they are slaves and should just shut up, sit down and after something devastating happens, sue the pants off the school, the town and everyone else who touched this hot potato of incompetence.

TT

cybermom said...

Excellent article,
Thank you,
Cybermom

Mr. Fixit said...

It's time for Middletown residents to show their support for Monique McClain (and other in similar situations). Please attend the next Middletown Board of Education meeting, scheduled for March 8th and use the alloted three minutes to speak to the board's inaction on this matter.

Hopefully a few hundred residents, students and other concerned folks will be there.

I plan to attend - how about YOU?

Elizabeth Bobrick said...

JAM, thank you for your thoughtfulness, your fighting spirit, and, not least, all the time you put into writing this posting.

I may have missed it, but has anything been said about the kids in school who are watching this happen and not stepping in? Bullies go for kids who are already alone. Is that the case with Monique? In addition to the many excellent suggestions that have been put forward to alleviate this situation, I say that every adult in a position of authority in this case should give more thought to the dynamics of bullying. You don't just address the bullies; you address the community in which the bullies live, just as JAM has spoken to us. How about that parent who was so appalled at her child's behavior that she made her stop? What about getting some advice from her about getting through to the other parents? (BTW, kids know how to keep you from seeing what they're writing on Facebook.)

In regard to Anonymous 9:43, I too know quite a few families who put their kids in private school, or moved, precisely to avoid their kids being subject to abuse from other students.

I wonder how many of our elected officials have children in the public school system. Perhaps they need their collective consciousness raised. It's fine to send your kids to private school -- one of our children, now at MHS, went to IDS; the other was in the public system all the way. But if you are going to be making policy, you need to know what goes on in the public schools.

By the way, "snitches get stitches" is a phrase widely used at MHS and known to kids who don't engage in fights or bullying.

Anonymous said...

Additional resources can be found at the Connecticut Commission on Children based in Hartford. This organization has done a lot to define and create best practices in dealing with a number of issues, including bullying.

http://www.cga.ct.gov/coc/index.htm

Below is their page for parents wishing to file a civil rights complaint with the state.
http://www.cga.ct.gov/coc/PDFs/bullying/102207_bullying_complaints.pdf
Filing Civil Rights Complaints
Distributed at “Stand Up to Bullying!” a forum held by the Connecticut Office of the Child Advocate, the Connecticut Commission on Children, and other partners on October 22, 2007.
For issues in schools, there are two key civil rights agencies – one on the federal level (OCR), and one on the state level (CHRO).
State Level
The Commission on Human Rights and Opportunities (CHRO)
21 Grand Street Hartford, CT 06106 Telephone: 860-541-3400 or 800-477-5737 Web site: http://www.state.ct.us/chro/
“Complaints must generally be filed within 180 days of the date of the alleged act of discrimination or within 180 days of the date that you became aware of the act. Complaints must be in writing and under oath. Your reasonably written complaint must be filed in a Commission office and entered into the Commission records before the 180-day time frame expires.
A person wishing to file a complaint should contact an intake officer at one of the Commission’s regional offices. The intake worker will discuss your concerns, explain our complaint process and advise you about what help CHRO may be able to provide to you. If a complaint can be taken, you will be given an appointment to come to a regional office to file a complaint.”
Federal Level
U.S. Department of Education Office for Civil Rights, Boston Office (Serves Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, and Vermont) 33 Arch Street, Suite 900 Boston, MA 02110-1491 Telephone: (617) 289-0111 Fax: (617) 289-0150 TDD: (877) 521-2172 E-mail: OCR.Boston@ed.gov
Filing complaints electronically:
http://www.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/howto.html

Anonymous said...

http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2011/02/08/kids-and-aggression-popularity-matters/


Be a bully back! Bullies usually have parents who are bullies too in their workplace. Let's all be bullies to the BOE!

Danielle L said...

Thank you to the McClains, and the Middletown Eye, for bringing this issue to our attention. It shouldn't have to be done, and I hope your fight brings about permanent changes in how these issues are handled in Middletown. You are doing the right thing.

I have been a homeowner in Middletown for five years, and am planning on starting a family soon. Despite knowing very few people with children here, my husband and I have been aware that there have been issues with bullying in Middletown for quite some time.

Not only am I dismayed for the McClains, but I am also disappointed to have my impressions confirmed by their story and the corroborating comments posted here. We like living here, but you can count us in as one of the families who will be leaving the city by the time our children reach middle school unless drastic changes are made.

-Danielle

try2doitall said...

“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” Edmund Burke

I will be there - will you?

Alexa M McClain said...

To: Try2doitall

I closed my December 7th, 2010 presentation to the BOE with a paraphrased quote from one of Martin Luther King's speeches.
It went something like this:

It is bad when bad people do bad things. But it is horrific when good people do nothing to correct those bad things.

I think we're on the same page.
Thank you.

Cathy said...

It is the superintendent and the adults in charge of the school environment who need to hear the heat, not Ted Raczka or the BOE who can only implement policy. There has been efforts over the past 8 years to improve the training of the teachers and adults in our schools but it has not been enough. Start expecting our teachers and administrators and bus drivers and secretaries and custodians and food service workers to set the example and teach these people how to manage student behavior in more positive ways. Right now teachers in elementary grades are using really unsophisticated behavior management techniques like public shaming; that is teaching kids how to be relationally aggressive and that's one of the reasons why they are becoming such sophisticated bullies in middle and high school. Time to expect the teachers to learn better ways to manage their students and their classrooms and most want to learn and change. So the superintendent has the responsibility offer the opportunity for more training. Maybe he is already doing or planning this.

Anonymous said...

What a fabulous piece Jen. Thank you for calling us to action. I wanted to let you know that I wrote a letter to Frechette and the Board of Ed and the bullying reps from the state. I also went out with the victim to let her know I was on her side and would make an effort to change this situation in the schools. She was incredibly thoughtful and pleasant to be with.