Friday, April 1, 2016

Fire Districts Warn Of Dangerous City Goats

Based on material from the Childhood Goat Trauma Awareness Foundation.

April is goat trauma awareness month, and the Fire Districts are warning residents to be constantly vigilant about the city's most dangerous animals.

An illustration of the danger
Many people may not be aware of the menace that goats pose.  Parts of the city that have trees (which goats can hide in and drop down on an unsuspecting victim) are particularly dangerous, see photograph.. Here are the stats:

  • Each year, over 6000 people are traumatized by goats in the United States alone. 
  • If a child is traumatized by a goat before age five, he/she is five times more likely to become some form of social deviant.
  • If treatment is received promptly, many of the extremely damaging effects of a goat trauma can be cured.
  • When given a choice four out five goats will attack a child before attacking either another goat or an adult.
  • These same goats will choose to assault an adult over another goat more than three times out of five.
  • There are over 50,000 petting zoos in the United States.
  • The majority of goat traumas occur before age eight and after age fifty-two.
  • In a scientific experiment, seven out of ten goats prefer man-made fibers over natural fibers.

The depth and breadth of this problem, and the depravity of these menacing animals, is not understood by many people, increasing the risk to the public health.
Fortunately, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself:

  • Never, under any circumstances, turn your back on a goat. This is Rule Number One of Goat Trauma Avoidance.
  • Avoid petting zoos. The majority of goat traumas occurring each year take place at petting zoos.
  • Stay alert. Goats are deceitful and can hide just about anywhere. 
  • Be suspicious of all farm animals. While other animals such as sheep, cows and horses are not by any means the violent creatures that goats are, goats frequently lurk within a herd, waiting to take advantage of peoples' trust in such animals. There have been some reports of goats avoiding the presence of certain breeds of dogs, but the Foundation has yet to test this theory.
  • If you must be in an area where goats are present, stay away from the younger goats. Older goats can be slower, allowing you more time to escape.
  • Wearing earth tones in goat-infested areas may offer some protection from goat attack, due their camouflaging abilities.
  • Goats have learned to climb trees and drop down onto unsuspecting people. Please see the evidence. Be especially aware in any treed, goat-infested areas.

For more information and to learn more about goat trauma, visit the Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation.


Anonymous said...

Never would have believed it unless it was today!

Tree Fanatic said...

There's no question -- they're a capricious bunch. Just watch them cutting capers, and you will become a believer.

Anonymous said...

I once ate a goat, but was lambasted for it.

Anonymous said...

Just when I was convinced that this election cycle is the scariest thing to happen in this country, this comes along! I'm not waiting until Trump is president, I'm moving to Canada now. Uh.. they don't have goats in Canada, do they?