"You Have Foiled My Plans for the Last Time, Flash Gordon! Prepare to Meet Fiery Death!" Popcorn by The Colonel #27

Epigraph: "Mt. Everest has never been climbed by a person wearing a wig or a toupee." --Sir Harry O. Triggerman 

(Forward this important fact at once to everyone you know. Ed broke the chain and his toupee fell into a crevasse with his head still in it, connected by his neck to the rest of his body! Karen kept the chain going and her wig stayed lustrous for years with only minimal maintenance.)

"Plagiarize!
Let no one else's work evade your eyes,
Remember why the good Lord made your eyes,
So don't shade your eyes,
But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize -
Only be sure always to call it please 'research.'"

--Tom Lehrer, not to be confused with the Wesleyan Honor Board

Quiz: Answer using T (True), F (False), or RRF (Really, Really False) 

0/ The following picture of Doris Day is germane to the discussion and properly captioned..

K. Sarah Serra

1/      The hip bone connected to the trombone connected to the cornpone.

2/      The official currency of Macedonia is the Yugo.

3/      Mycology is the study of famous people named Mike.

4/      Gas gives you Brussels sprouts. 

5/      The "R" on the gear shift stands for "Rocket-speed."

6/      Grapefruits are easily flushed.

7/      Mozart was born in Rachmaninoff.

8/      A cookie with no charge is a fig neutron.

9/      The Great Depression really was great.

10/    The Inuit have 100 words for "snow" and one is "humptydiddy."

11/    The Constitution says it's cheating to mime a filibuster.

12/    The Mona Lisa "smile" is from Brussels sprouts.

13/    Galileo's trouble started when he said the world revolved around that guy from U2.

14/    Everyone wants to hear about that strange dream you had last night.

15/    Charles Dickens's real name was Writey McAwesome.

16/    American citizens can use the restrooms at any Public Radio station.

17/    If no one saw you eat it, you didn't eat it.

18/    The French and Indian War nearly destroyed Bombay.

19/    Dogs know exactly why they bark at the UPS truck.

20/    Of course it's okay to text during class.

(Props to Jef Mallett of "Frazz.")

Afterthought: If you don't read the funny papers, take care lest you be reborn as a lower form of life, such as a rat, or an insect, or a lawyer. (Just kidding; rats are amazing.)