POSITIVE IDENTITY
Our identities are always in a state of flux. Depending on what’s currently happening in your life, you may feel confident or unsure, optimistic about the future or pessimistic, that you have some control or little control. These changes are normal for adults as well as children. What’s important, however, is what a person’s identity is like most of the time. People who have a strong sense of self still maintain that sense even when difficulties arise. They continue to be hopeful, optimistic, and believe they can make a difference, even when circumstances seem to be trying to persuade them otherwise. While identity is partially determined by genetics, adults still have a lot of influence on bringing out the best in children. The ways you respond children's successes, mistakes, actions, and words help build either a sense of positive or negative identity. Children whose home, school, neighborhood, and community see the best in them are more apt to bring out the best in themselves. The choice is ours. In short, Love children, and children will learn to love themselves.
4 Assets of Positive Identity
Search Institute researchers have identified four positive-identity assets that are crucial for helping young people grow up healthy.
Personal power—child feels he or she has control over things that happen to her or him.
Self-esteem—child reports having a high self-esteem.
Sense of purpose—child reports that her or his life has a purpose.
Positive view of personal future—child is optimistic about her or his personal future.
Age-Specific Ways to Encourage Positive Identity Formation
0-1 • Love, respect,and accept children unconditionally.• Delight in each child’s unique personality. • Create positive interactions.
2-3 • Focus on the behavior; do not blame children when correcting their inappropriate behaviors. • When children sayphrases such as “Me do it,” let them. • Create an atmosphere that is loving, supportive, and affirming so that children enjoy and feel good about their environment.
4-5 • Encourage children to take pride in their cultural heritage. • Break new tasks into small,manageable steps that children can master without becoming too frustrated. • Use positive and encouraging phrases around children. For example, say “Let’s try it” instead of“That won’t work".
6-10 • Respect the decisions children make. • Focus on children's strengths and encourage her or him in these areas. • Encourage children to seek out answers and solutions when they face obstacles or difficult times.
11-15 • Encourage children to explore and experiment within her or his areas of interest and ability.• Expect children to experience ups and downs of self-esteem during these years, and for it to increase as he or she gets older. • Avoid comparing children with others.
16-18 • Continue to support teenagers as they struggle with issues and questions of identity. • Show teenagers the positive possibilities in her or his future. • Delight in teenager’s talents, capabilities, and discoveries.
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."
~ Judy Garland
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