By Judy Polan, Queen of the Glitter Folk
Epigraph: “Two things are both true: crime is an extraordinarily complex problem, and good policing can reduce it.” --after David French
The Colonel’s Magic Realism Rejuvenating Cream is now available without tedious side-effect warnings or money-back guarantees! It worked for my British uncle “Skip” of MI6 (retired) who was pretty successful with his “Afghan Boy” disguise, shown below:
You’re not supposed to use a whole jar at once, but Uncle Skip did, and this was the result:
After just that one treatment, there was no secret that Afghan Boy couldn’t winkle out of the enemy leadership. He made the hard guys humble and the tough guys tumble.
After retiring to Knightsbridge, Uncle Skip (Lord Skip for his services) kept up the treatments and was irresistible even to members of the opposite sex, even during football (soccer) fan uprisings, as in picture below:
The cream’s not infallible, though. Until he used the cream, Richard looked like this:
Afterwards, like this:
--Nobody bats a thousand.
Nor is the cream much good for the side effects of veganism like those depicted below:
That is all.