Reader Commentary: Children in a Divorce?

A reader commentary submitted by Eye reader Jane Majewski

CHILDREN IN A DIVORCE ?

Watching the leaders of our town debate the responsibility of the budget between the BOE and City feels akin to a child living in divorce proceedings. The two parents divorcing, the Board of Education Administration and the old city leadership have been publicly fighting and blaming the other side in ways that I believe are destructive to the core structure of our educational system in town. Two sides spending almost a million dollars of money that was earmarked for special education without communicating to each other has been described as a married couple not communicating how much each is spending from a bank account and drawing a negative balance.

I get this. I just don't get why. I don't get how leaders on both sides of this issue are able to disagree to a level of non communicating about a million dollars. I don't like showing up at BOE meetings to watch those sides attack each other personally. What ever happened to disagreeing with each other but respecting the other side?

The public sits and watches as two parents divorcing are yelling at each other about finances, about who is to blame for the breakdown of the "marriage". As children (and yes, they're adults but for the sake of the story I call them children) stand at the microphone and also attack people; they're rebuked by the same parents who are doing the same thing to each other.

The public, like children in a divorce, listens to both sides. Many have aligned themselves with the "parent" that they most agree with based on their relationships with each side. I watched the Union leader of the Administration read a heartfelt letter about the wonderful things our administration has done in spite of the bad press as of late. I agree. Our administration and teachers have done some amazing things. Then I watch parents stand and angrily scream out like children having been tossed to the side over issues that are painfully real to their experiences. I agree with them also.

I myself feel like I am tossed in a storm on the sea. Perhaps I would be called the middle child? I am a parent who feels she has unresolved issues with the administration regarding simple safety issues for a child with special needs. I am also a parent of a child who has flourished academically and socially at the hands of wonderful staff in her school. I can see both sides.

What I can't see is why is the divide this toxic? Why are the leaders of our educational system hanging onto "who is right" more than focusing on making the educational system a better one for all involved?

Did I mention that there is a new wife in this story? Yes, the Board of Ed has a new wife, the mayor (symbolically). The step mother and father have made a decision about how to resolve the million dollar problem while the first wife (the old BOE leaders) have not felt like they have a say in the matter.
Dad and his new wife have decided that the old wife was wrong in spending the money and will pay him and his new wife back.

The problem as I see it is this....the money wasn't Dad's, his wife or his ex-wives to spend. The money was given from outside the city and earmarked for special education. So, as the middle child, I have to ask...... "this child support if its for educating our children, why is Dad's new wife getting to spend it?"

Let me interpret. State money to reimburse special ed services came to the town. The town spent it. The BoE spent it. The new leadership has decided that the BOE should not have spent it and will now pay it back. Where will this money come from? Could it be reducing special education supports? Could that have been why DEAL was closed to begin with? Will they cut academic programs? teachers salaries? athletic programs? A million dollars is a lot to pay back even in a payment plan. The children and their teachers will pay the price.

I am thinking that both sides may need intervention much like divorcing parents are required to go through family relations. I think they need someone who is not politically aligned to help them work through their differences in a productive way. Me? I think I'll move to grandma's house until they all figure out what they're doing.........