Developmental Asset Message of the Week - Restraint

ONLY 34% OF MIDDLETOWN YOUTH FEEL THAT IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOT BE SEXUALLY ACTIVE OR TO USE ALCOHOL OR OTHER DRUGS

Parents want kids to have restraint and to not engage in risky behaviors, such as alcohol, drug use or premature sexual activity. But how do you get kids to value restraint in a culture that values indulgence?

A few suggestions to help communication about this issue with children:

• Avoid simply labeling these activities as bad. Instead, explain the consequences of these behaviors. Work on building assets with your children. Keep them informed and be open to their questions.  Encourage self-care and, of course, be a role model.
• From an early age, teach kids that it’s important not to be sexually active or to use alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs. Then model that value by drinking responsibly, behaving appropriately, and not using drugs.
• Be clear about boundaries and values. Most teenagers are relieved to have boundaries, even if the outwardly fight them.  Explain why you feel the way you do, and encourage questions/discussion.
• Look for opportunities to respond to what’s in the media regarding sexuality, alcohol, or other drugs that doesn’t directly involve your child or your child’s friends.  Ask for your child’s opinion and discuss your thoughts with them. We just posted an interesting article on the media's impact around this on our blog (Read: Sex Ed and Snooki here). The article notes some great tips around this issue.

Its also important to note that one key indicator on a young person's ability to restrain from risky behaviors is how many of the 40 Developmental Assets they have in their lives. For example, we found in our 2006 survey of Middletown students grades 7-12 that students with the highest level of assets (31-40) engage in approximately 1 of 24 identified risky behaviors as opposed to those with the lowest (1-10) who engage in 9 of the 24!

Other Resources:

Saying No Is Not Enough: Helping Your Kids Make Wise Decisions about Alcohol, Tobacco, and Other Drugs: A Guide for Parents of Children Ages 3 through 19 by Robert Schwebel, Ph.D. This book guides parents in how to listen and what to say to their children when approaching tough topics. (Published by Newmarket Press.)

"Self-discipline begins with the mastery of your thoughts. If you don't control what you think, you can't control what you do. Simply, self-discipline enables you to think first and act afterward."

~Napolean Hill~

And as always we encourage you to visit AssetPromise.org  for more information.