Thursday, December 24, 2009

It’s Only Natural Restaurant

Fear and Loathing in Middletown


One cannot help but agree with the concept and principle of It’s Only Natural (ION). The food that we put into our bodies should be of the highest purity, unadulterated so that it can do our bodies the least harm, the most good. We have eaten at this Middletown institution many times and to say that it is the best vegan vegetarian restaurant in town (and by “town” we mean northern and central CT) is faint praise only because it is the only vegetarian restaurant in town. (Whoops! I forgot Udupi Bhavan, an Indian Restaurant in the Tradewinds Plaza on Saybrook Road.). Aside from that, after every visit we come away with the most mixed-up feelings. We begin to have doubts and these doubts lead to self-recrimination, self-loathing, so that we begin to wonder how we have failed so miserably at being parents, educators, people. These fears are fueled by an incorrect omnivorous reality, knowing that in a day or two we will be firing up the Weber to the “as hot as it can get” setting to receive a thick porterhouse steak and then we will be serving that perfectly cross-hatched behemoth, red and juicy, slathered with portabella mushrooms that have been sautéed in a non-stick frying pan with garlic, olive oil, salt and pepper and a pat of butter. Of course, our cravings further require crusty French bread, a bottle of full-throttle red wine, and, oh yes, a salad. So while we are eating at ION we begin to feel our guilt mounting, our stupidity growing, and we begin to realize that our whole way of life is completely and irretrievably wrong. When we walk out the door at ION we always make a pact to shoot each other the first chance we get.

Happily, this all can be blamed on our parents. And this is another lesson that the ION school teaches – taste is a habituated response. We have learned to appreciate some tastes because we know them well and when we encounter something that doesn’t fall into our “knowing zone” we tend to think that it doesn’t “taste good”. We like what we know rather than know what we like. This is true in art, automobiles, clothes, music, even restaurant reviews. No one cared for the impressionists until everyone did, no one liked the VW Beetle until it became an icon, no one liked the mini-skirt – bad example – no one liked John Cage until there was Phil Glass – but I digress – you get the idea. Just as in architecture where form that follows function might be a means of measuring the beauty of a building, so too in the culinary world we might consider the basis for great cooking to rest on the foundation that it does the body the most good and then go from there. And, just as we adults have outgrown the overwhelming desire and conviction that eating candy all day is not only a tasty thing but a good thing, might not we outgrow our habituated need for red meat, artery clogging cheeses, or treats of saturated fat and sugar? That commercial that is currently airing showing a teen drinking a can of soda and the soda coagulating into fat that drips from his chin as he drinks sort of sums up the case.

Last week we were able to catch up on the latest offerings at ION. The menu hasn’t changed much, possibly gotten smaller, with a few new specials. Their commitment to their concept is stronger than ever. Everything on the menu was vegan (except for some cheddar and mozzarella cheese options), much was gluten-free. They use filtered water, stainless steel cookware (although their tableware was of the cheapest variety); all natural ingredients and they bake their own bread there daily. They also proudly state that they never have and never will use trans fat or microwaves. Even their beer and wine list leans heavily on organic offerings. Like “regular” wines these organic products can be great or execrable. (In the past, the “organic” modifier applied to wine meant drink soon, before it goes bad. Which sort of begs the question, “Is the first duty of wine or food to be “organic”?)

The Tempeh “Crab Cakes”, came on a bed of greens and slivers of carrots. I found them under-spiced and the sauces too bland. Of course I am accustomed to making mine with Emeril’s BAM – whatever that is – so I prefer ‘em hot. In fairness, there is a bottle of spicy commercial sauce on the table to personally crank up the volume. Like all of the plates at ION, the ersatz Crab Cakes were beautiful to look at, artfully composed and presented. The sweet–potato fries are a headliner here and are really good. They are not as good cold, however, so eat them up right away. There’s usually not enough to share. Potato and spinach Pierogis were filling, served with apple “butter”, caramelized onions, brown rice, sautéed garlic, greens and tofu “sour cream”. Again, a little more flavor would have been welcomed. The Phyllo Lasagna layered with tofu “ricotta”, sautéed mushrooms, onions and peppers, was lavishly sauced with meatless and tasty bolognaise and garnished with crispy polenta toast points. Served over fresh greens, this dish would have looked at home in many of Middletown’s Italian kitchens and since it was about half as heavy, one could easily eat twice as much for equal gluttonous guilt!

One of the best things about dining at ION was leaving. And not just because we were escaping the self-loathing, but because afterwards we both thought we felt better – not heavy and over-stuffed, but filled and satisfied. One of us even thought we could go home and begin writing a restaurant review. Silly, that.

We feel compelled to mention the quirks of ION. A bit more pampering at dinner, over and above not having to cook or clean up, would be appreciated. Usually, relief from pain/drudgery is not enough to ensure our highest approbation. We want more! Flimsy paper napkins and bendy utensils are a clue that, unless it is a picnic, we are overpaying. (Prices for dinner at ION are nearly on a par with Middletown’s more accommodating restaurants.) There is local artwork on some walls that is for sale, a raft of “Best of” awards are plastered on another wall, there is sometimes a fortune teller reading palms for $20 each, the chairs are so rickety I had to search for one that would support my weight, there is chalk so that you can write on the table (must be a carry-over from WESU’s tradition of chalking the sidewalks and/or a diversion for youngsters), and the service can be erratic – although we do not have any complaints. The check figures out your 20% tip for you (!) and if you reserve a table for six they take your credit card. If you cancel, they charge it $50.00. Not sure if this threat is in earnest or just a reminder to “be good”. In short the restaurant is loaded with didactic personality. Did I forget to mention the the fact that the restaurant sells T-Shirts and Thongs that say, “Vegetarians Taste Better”? In a reversal of the old Charley the Tuna commercial, I think what they mean is, “Vegetarians have better taste”. Some will be able to take this personality in stride, but some others might turn and leave in a sprint.


Service was friendly and well-paced. Our waitress went the whole nine yards to enhance our experience.

The Facts: Tempeh Crab Cakes Appetizer $9, Pierogis $15, Phyllo Lasagna $17, Pint of Sierra Nevada $5, a bottle of Mionnetto Prosecco $32.

Please Note: The Weekly Eater will not be eating over the holidays but will resume with another review after the first of the year. Happy New Year to all!




10 comments:

Anonymous said...

We love ION and the food. We take our kids and find some of the wait staff often is inappropriately dressed (little is being left to the imagination) for a family restaurant. we wish we could go there more often as we really love the food, but the prices are very high so we can't go often with 3 kids. $15 for pirogi's? They are good pirogis but are still just pirogis. The food is great and the service is often very caring.

Anonymous said...

I too find ION a bit expensive and some of the food under-flavored (especially the pirogis actually; other stuff is fantastic though). My wife and I have vowed never to return however because on several occasions the owner has treated us incredibly poorly (the wait staff has never been anything but kind).

Yes, they'll charge you $50 for canceling a reservation for 6, but last Mother's day, after I had made a reservation a few weeks in advance with the special request for a high chair we arrived and were told "they're all in use." When I asked if they could at least make sure to bring it to our table next when it was free (I do enjoying using my hands while I eat), the owner snapped at me and my mother. It was surreal. She also made no effort whatsoever to provide the high chair; I ultimately found it sitting unused and grabbed it myself about 20 minutes later. As this was one of several times we've felt, as they used to say in New Orleans' R&B, "unnecessary" at ION, and the price tag is high, we've decided to spend elsewhere.

Anonymous said...

As a Middletown native vegetarian, I have to say Udupi is much better than ION in terms of food. Don't dismiss it just because it's not very fancy.

Anonymous said...

While I do enjoy eating at ION, I have occasionally found the management a bit terse. Once we were charged for requesting an extra empty plate.

Maybe if they add a little animal fat to their diet…

Elizabeth Bobrick said...

"Didactic personality:" I bow to you, Weekly Eater. Two words that say worlds!

Anonymous said...

I have been going to ION regularly for years and have always had good experiences there. The food is consistently delicious, the service friendly and attentive,the atmosphere extremely pleasant. I have had only positive encounters with the owner. It is a Sixties kind of place and I do not expect fine tableware and napkins. Nothing didactic there to me. Just good-humored and relaxed, but also professional and dedicated to quality. It's great that they provide gallery space for local artists and craftspeople. I have friends from other parts of the state who often choose ION as a lunch or dinner meeting place over West Hartford's offerings because they like the atmosphere and food so much. I agree that the waitresses' outfits at times are inappropriate, and I do not like that. I also think that they charge too much for a loaf of bread if you want to buy one to take home. But I appreciate being able to buy food from the menu to take out. I value ION for what it is, and I see it as an important and much loved (by many)part of Middletown's finally diverse restaurant scene.

Anonymous said...

We used to go there for open mike nights, however even though we always ordered dessert the owner was always rude and asked us not to come because we did not order enough or stay the full 2 hours.We graciously got up between acts.
The owner is cold and unfriendly, bordering on rude.

Anonymous said...

Everyone has been very kind.

I say, under-seasoned, under-portioned, and over-rated. In fact, to my taste, they do more to dissuade folks from a vegetarian lifestyle than they do persuade people to believe that it is a viable option.

Udupi beats Ion hands down with their delicious and filling vegetarian food, friendly service, and fair prices.

I appreciate very much that the Weekly Eater offers critical and fun reviews of local restaurants. For too long, many of our city's restaurants have gotten by with serving mediocre food that has gone unchallenged.

That being said...

Put aside whatever pretentious existential comfort you may experience from your one night stand of vegetarian eating and be at least be as critical of Ion as you are of Luce.

Have I been overly didactic?

Anonymous said...

I have been a long time friend of ION and an on-again off-again member of the staff. I found the Weekly Eater's review essentially correct in fact, substantive in opinion, well written and amusing.

I have a few of things to say in response to the original posting and subsequent comments.

First, I'd like to clarify our reservation policy, which was described incorrectly. We ask for a credit card when taking a reservation for parties larger than six. There is NO charge for cancellation. There is only a charge if the reservation is abandoned without the minimal consideration that would be demonstrated by a phone call informing us of a change in plans. It costs us money if we hold a table for someone isn't coming.

On the subject of literary style: I enjoy the integration of the questions regarding human choices about how we treat our bodies and environments. I have a small concern that some people, when reading this review casually, may misinterpret sentences like the one describing your consistent urge to shoot yourself and your companion when leaving ION. I think this was meant to indicate that ION inspires thought about poor choices one makes when NOT dining at ION, rather than something less flattering.

On the subject of expense: Ours in not a cheap restaurant. It is possible to have a satisfying meal here for an affordable price. Virtually everything on It's Only Natural's menu is made from scratch, including the ketchup. During warmer seasons, we serve our own produce, grown locally, organically and with compost from our restaurant. We use high quality ingredients, and combine them with a great investment of time and care.

On the subject of dress: We have heard these concerns before. I have previously written lengthy responses to such concerns. One of these is framed and posted on the wall. You are welcome to come in and read it, perhaps between 4 and 6 on a weekday, when you can enjoy $2 draft beers served by scantily clad waitresses.

On the subject of charges for empty plates: This is not accurate. We charge $3 if you would like to have a dish plated separately by our chef, this is the policy in many restaurants. If you want an extra plate for sharing you are welcome to have as many as you want without charge.

Lastly, on the subject of the owner's personality: There are two owner's at ION. Mark Shadle and Renana Magee, they have very different personalities. The experience we offer at It's Only Natural Restaurant tends to elicit strong responses. People respond energetically to our food, our decor, our costumes and our personalities. These reactions are not always positive. I feel fairly comfortable in assuming that the comments about "the owner" or "management" are referencing Renana, and not just because they are less likely to have encountered Mark who is almost always in the kitchen. Renana is energetic and unyielding. She is largely responsible for the design, implementation and maintenance of ION's dining adventure. Sometimes this work requires behaving in a manner unlikely to win popularity contests. Renana's unique approach to life and restaurant management has had a unique and indispensable influence on ION.

Anonymous said...

People are so mean and willing to say cruel things when they are anonymous: is that what The Middletown Eye wants to be about???