It’s Only Natural Restaurant

Fear and Loathing in Middletown


One cannot help but agree with the concept and principle of It’s Only Natural (ION). The food that we put into our bodies should be of the highest purity, unadulterated so that it can do our bodies the least harm, the most good. We have eaten at this Middletown institution many times and to say that it is the best vegan vegetarian restaurant in town (and by “town” we mean northern and central CT) is faint praise only because it is the only vegetarian restaurant in town. (Whoops! I forgot Udupi Bhavan, an Indian Restaurant in the Tradewinds Plaza on Saybrook Road.). Aside from that, after every visit we come away with the most mixed-up feelings. We begin to have doubts and these doubts lead to self-recrimination, self-loathing, so that we begin to wonder how we have failed so miserably at being parents, educators, people. These fears are fueled by an incorrect omnivorous reality, knowing that in a day or two we will be firing up the Weber to the “as hot as it can get” setting to receive a thick porterhouse steak and then we will be serving that perfectly cross-hatched behemoth, red and juicy, slathered with portabella mushrooms that have been sautéed in a non-stick frying pan with garlic, olive oil, salt and pepper and a pat of butter. Of course, our cravings further require crusty French bread, a bottle of full-throttle red wine, and, oh yes, a salad. So while we are eating at ION we begin to feel our guilt mounting, our stupidity growing, and we begin to realize that our whole way of life is completely and irretrievably wrong. When we walk out the door at ION we always make a pact to shoot each other the first chance we get.

Happily, this all can be blamed on our parents. And this is another lesson that the ION school teaches – taste is a habituated response. We have learned to appreciate some tastes because we know them well and when we encounter something that doesn’t fall into our “knowing zone” we tend to think that it doesn’t “taste good”. We like what we know rather than know what we like. This is true in art, automobiles, clothes, music, even restaurant reviews. No one cared for the impressionists until everyone did, no one liked the VW Beetle until it became an icon, no one liked the mini-skirt – bad example – no one liked John Cage until there was Phil Glass – but I digress – you get the idea. Just as in architecture where form that follows function might be a means of measuring the beauty of a building, so too in the culinary world we might consider the basis for great cooking to rest on the foundation that it does the body the most good and then go from there. And, just as we adults have outgrown the overwhelming desire and conviction that eating candy all day is not only a tasty thing but a good thing, might not we outgrow our habituated need for red meat, artery clogging cheeses, or treats of saturated fat and sugar? That commercial that is currently airing showing a teen drinking a can of soda and the soda coagulating into fat that drips from his chin as he drinks sort of sums up the case.

Last week we were able to catch up on the latest offerings at ION. The menu hasn’t changed much, possibly gotten smaller, with a few new specials. Their commitment to their concept is stronger than ever. Everything on the menu was vegan (except for some cheddar and mozzarella cheese options), much was gluten-free. They use filtered water, stainless steel cookware (although their tableware was of the cheapest variety); all natural ingredients and they bake their own bread there daily. They also proudly state that they never have and never will use trans fat or microwaves. Even their beer and wine list leans heavily on organic offerings. Like “regular” wines these organic products can be great or execrable. (In the past, the “organic” modifier applied to wine meant drink soon, before it goes bad. Which sort of begs the question, “Is the first duty of wine or food to be “organic”?)

The Tempeh “Crab Cakes”, came on a bed of greens and slivers of carrots. I found them under-spiced and the sauces too bland. Of course I am accustomed to making mine with Emeril’s BAM – whatever that is – so I prefer ‘em hot. In fairness, there is a bottle of spicy commercial sauce on the table to personally crank up the volume. Like all of the plates at ION, the ersatz Crab Cakes were beautiful to look at, artfully composed and presented. The sweet–potato fries are a headliner here and are really good. They are not as good cold, however, so eat them up right away. There’s usually not enough to share. Potato and spinach Pierogis were filling, served with apple “butter”, caramelized onions, brown rice, sautéed garlic, greens and tofu “sour cream”. Again, a little more flavor would have been welcomed. The Phyllo Lasagna layered with tofu “ricotta”, sautéed mushrooms, onions and peppers, was lavishly sauced with meatless and tasty bolognaise and garnished with crispy polenta toast points. Served over fresh greens, this dish would have looked at home in many of Middletown’s Italian kitchens and since it was about half as heavy, one could easily eat twice as much for equal gluttonous guilt!

One of the best things about dining at ION was leaving. And not just because we were escaping the self-loathing, but because afterwards we both thought we felt better – not heavy and over-stuffed, but filled and satisfied. One of us even thought we could go home and begin writing a restaurant review. Silly, that.

We feel compelled to mention the quirks of ION. A bit more pampering at dinner, over and above not having to cook or clean up, would be appreciated. Usually, relief from pain/drudgery is not enough to ensure our highest approbation. We want more! Flimsy paper napkins and bendy utensils are a clue that, unless it is a picnic, we are overpaying. (Prices for dinner at ION are nearly on a par with Middletown’s more accommodating restaurants.) There is local artwork on some walls that is for sale, a raft of “Best of” awards are plastered on another wall, there is sometimes a fortune teller reading palms for $20 each, the chairs are so rickety I had to search for one that would support my weight, there is chalk so that you can write on the table (must be a carry-over from WESU’s tradition of chalking the sidewalks and/or a diversion for youngsters), and the service can be erratic – although we do not have any complaints. The check figures out your 20% tip for you (!) and if you reserve a table for six they take your credit card. If you cancel, they charge it $50.00. Not sure if this threat is in earnest or just a reminder to “be good”. In short the restaurant is loaded with didactic personality. Did I forget to mention the the fact that the restaurant sells T-Shirts and Thongs that say, “Vegetarians Taste Better”? In a reversal of the old Charley the Tuna commercial, I think what they mean is, “Vegetarians have better taste”. Some will be able to take this personality in stride, but some others might turn and leave in a sprint.


Service was friendly and well-paced. Our waitress went the whole nine yards to enhance our experience.

The Facts: Tempeh Crab Cakes Appetizer $9, Pierogis $15, Phyllo Lasagna $17, Pint of Sierra Nevada $5, a bottle of Mionnetto Prosecco $32.

Please Note: The Weekly Eater will not be eating over the holidays but will resume with another review after the first of the year. Happy New Year to all!