“Let the Dogs Bark” -- The Colonel Carries On #70

By Amber Color and Rich Taste  

GERALDINE: “Oh, Mr. Viddle, ‘blackmail’ is such an ugly word. Let’s agree to call it a vicious threat.”

A licensed arborist from the Northeast is at sea, so to speak, among the trees of the Sunshine State. She consults her smartphone and comes away frustrated and no smarter.

A book on business writing advised: “State the purpose of your letter in the first sentence. If the letter has two purposes, state them both in the first sentence, or write two letters.”

An exception to the rule to “upfront the bottom line” is giving bad news to a superior. In that case, first a little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down the pants.

Another benefit of a dishwashing meditation is that when it’s over, you have clean dishes.

If you go camping for three days, you have to pack as much as if you were going for two weeks, except for food.

A Connecticut statute that requires mailing to someone’s “last known address” has been interpreted to mean the address known by someone who is likely to know the person’s current address. So “last known address” means, in effect, “current address.”

“My Trump University degree qualified

me for modeling jobs as a graduating scholar!”

“If you give this man a ride, sweet Emily will die.”

Wah-Keen “Lil Chappy” Gooseman

The political philosopher Walter Berns was right: The question is never whether, but always which, elites will govern. A republic’s challenge is to persuade the many to be governed by worthy elites. We want our rulers to be better than ourselves.

It’s nearly impossible to castrate a hippo.

Tearifyingly weepsome. Had to work that in. Sounds a little Joycean.

Won’t it be fun when Kate Middleton and the DOTUS meet? There will be hell toupée.

“Filth” sometimes means “fail in London, try Hong Kong.”

“Whatever it is, I don’t wanna hear it.”

Has the pregame show for Super Bowl 52 started yet?

“Even in our sleep, pain which we cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.” --written by Aeschylus, spoken by Robert F. Kennedy shortly after the murder of Martin Luther King, Jr.

“His eyes flash KGB.” --four chilling words about Vladimir Putin.

From The Economist style guide: “Put only as close as you can to the words it qualifies. Thus, These animals mate only in June. To say They only mate in June implies that in June they do nothing else.”

Suggested pub names: The Lion’s Wink and The Hanged Munchkin.

That is all.

Zen P.S.: “Throw out opinions, prejudices, and theories until nothing is left. Then throw out the nothing.”