Brohaha: A Good Laugh With Your Brother -- The Colonel Carries On #96

by Portly Sage, Rosemary End-Time, and Art Simon

Epigraph: “Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” --Tom Lehrer

“Death comes for us all. But we needn’t experience the grief of bereavement if we all go at once. So what if it’s in an ocean of flame? At least no one’s left behind to cry.” --Kim Bad-Un

Why the Hermit Kingdom dares not open up to the world: “The more you let your people understand that they don’t need to live in a squalid sewer system, the more dangerous the people become to the regime.” --Jonah Goldberg

“Down by the old maelstrom/ There’ll be a storm before the calm.” --Tom Lehrer

“I lit a cigarette on a parking meter and walked on down the road. It was a normal day.” --Bob Dylan, Talkin’ World War III Blues

I’ve been thinking a bit about bitcoin, or I should say Bitcoin, or maybe I should say something else -- didn’t Bitcoin just split into two different enterprises? The money of the future.

Anyhoo, the fruit of my cogitation is that if the Fed switched to the blockchain technology for U.S. currency, the Fed would have the name of the owner of every cent of American money. The underground economy would have to use gold coins or apple pies.

I wonder how people who don’t want to register their guns will feel about registering their money. Probably not good.

Headline: “Captain Obvious Admits He’s a Meme.”

Report: Turns Out, Life Is Not a Bowl of Cherries, But a Basket of Apples

Another Report: Most Americans Now Getting Their News While Peeking Out Between Fingers

The sea squirt is an animal that begins life with a brain and a tail.  Immediately after it is born, it uses its brain and tail to propel itself through the water until it finds some rock to attach itself.  Once it attaches itself to that rock it consumes its brain, absorbs its tail, and thereafter never moves again; it lives out its remaining life as a brainless water filter. 😊

Above is a painstakingly reconstructed model of the sun around which the planet Krypton used to revolve. Kudos to the DC Comics Research Institute. Consider a bequest.

Report: Former football star Y.A. Tittle, 91, Sues Local Library Over “YA Titles” Section (Credit: Sarah J. Liners)

An “ube” (OO-BAE) is a purple yam.

Soup dumpling (noun) -- a Chinese dish consisting of a small ball of dough filled with soup. Example of use: One of my favourite Chinese dishes is soup dumplings. The first time I tried them was in New York after a mate went on and on about them – and for good reason. Soup dumplings are everything you want in a small parcel – succulent and bursting with flavour.

Salad cake (noun) -- a food that is designed to look like a sweet cake but is actually made of savoury ingredients such as soy and vegetables. Example of use: Imagine biting into a beautiful cake, but instead of a sugary rush you get the fresh flavors of celery, carrot and red cabbage. Salad cakes – a new craze in Japan – offer exactly that experience … These sinless sweets substitute cream “frosting” for that made out of tofu, a “sponge” base for one of soy powder, eggs and vegetable oil, while the rainbow hues that decorate the “icing” come from natural vegetable colorings such as red beetroot juice.

Zen hypograph:  “Shh! Be quiet! If you listen very carefully, you’ll hear nothing.”

Politics hypogrph: "Mr Speaker, I smell a rat; I see him forming in the air and darkening the sky; but I'll nip him in the bud!" --Sir Boyle Roche (1736-1807), member of the Irish parliament