Asset Message of the Week - Interpersonal Competence

44% OF MIDDLETOWN YOUTH REPORT THAT THEY HAVE THE ABILITY TO BE EMPATHETIC, SENSITIVE, AND HAVE POSITIVE FRIENDSHIP SKILLS

(From Melissa Robinson, YSB Staff) Interpersonal competence can be tricky even for adults, especially since some people’s emotions are easier to read than others’. Yet, young people who practice the skills of being in touch with their own needs and feelings and know how to appropriately express their feelings are more likely to understand and deal with the feelings of others. Building interpersonal competence is a lifelong process. Each relationship and each interaction allows young people to practice, learn, and master the skills of empathy, sensitivity, and friendship building.

People who are able to communicate, tend to be friendly, sensitive, caring and are naturally people you want to surround yourself with. How can you build this asset in youth that you know? The most obvious way would be to model being sensitive, being a friend, and having empathy for others. I know, personally, I have many of the same characteristics as my father. Although I look nothing like him, I have a lot of the same inner characteristics as he does. He modeled integrity, honesty, responsibility, caring for others, and so much more. Ask your self, who modeled these characteristics for you when you were a child/teenager. What was it about that person that you looked up to and what can you do to be that person for a child now.

Some thoughts to talk about/teach youth:

• Help decode the media with them: a great example using the Jersey Shore can be found on our blog.
• Stress that it’s not okay to just “drop” or gossip about a friend
• Making sure children are connecting with people in person and not just through the computer/cell (texting).
• Treat others (including your children) the way you would like to see them treat others.
• Encourage youth to get involved in activities that may draw out interpersonal skills (such as volunteering at the local food pantry or joining a team. Or joining a shovel team!

“Our feelings towards our friends reflect our feelings towards ourselves.” -Aristotle

"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." -Muhammad Ali

For more information on Developmental Assets, please visit www.search-institute.org and don't forget to go to  www.assetpromise.org and make your promise to support Middletown youth.