Developmental Asset Message of the Week - Responsibility

62% OF MIDDLETOWN YOUTH REPORT FEELING THAT IT IS IMPORTANT TO ACCEPT AND TAKE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR ACTIONS.

 

In Raising a Responsible Child, authors Don Dinkmeyer, Ph.D., and Gary D.McKay, Ph.D., point out four keys to instilling the value of responsibility in your child.

Key #1—Let them do it. Too many adults do tasks for children, instead of letting them do them. Why? Some adults think kids are incapable of accomplishing the task (which is true if they’re never given the chance to learn). Also, our busy lifestyles can keep us from taking the time to let children master skills.

Key #2—Expect it to take time. The best time to teach children responsibility is when you’re not in a hurry. Children will become discouraged, self conscious, and uncooperative when they sense they are being rushed, or are not living up to an adults expectations.

Key #3—Ask, don’t demand. Begin by asking your child to help you with something, such as doing laundry. Do it together. Gradually teach your child so that they can do it by themselves.

Key #4—Use consequences. When your child does not follow through with something that he or she is solely responsible for. Let natural and logical consequences occur.

Three ways to help your child become more responsible:

1.  When you make a commitment, follow through. If you are unable to for some reason, take responsibility.

2.  Create a chart of family chores, listing everyone’s responsibilities.

3.  Don’t rescue children if they do something wrong. Let them accept responsibility and face consequences.

"It is easy to dodge our responsibilities, but we cannot dodge the consequences of dodging our responsibilities."

     ~ Josiah Stamp

"If you want your children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders."

     ~Abigail Van Buren

For more information on Developmental Assets, please visit www.search-institute.org and don't forget to go to www.assetpromise.org to make your promise to support Middletown youth.