Friday, June 18, 2010

Reds McMillan, Student Mentoring Program Founder, Dies

Edward "Reds" McMillan died Friday afternoon at the Hospice at Middlesex Hospital after a long struggle with Alzheimer's Disease.

Many in the community knew Reds McMillan better than I, though I was his son-in-law.

I met him ten years ago when I met my wife Lucy.  He was a already an established force in his adopted hometown of Middletown by then.

Born in Pennsylvania, near Pittsburgh, he spent most of his youth growing up near Philadelphia.  As his short term memory slipped, I often heard him talk about the days of his youth that were clearer to him, when he played baseball and football in suburban Philly schools, and about when he taught the classics there after he graduated from Princeton.

Reds was always an athlete.  He played baseball at Princeton, and was offered a major league tryout.  He coached baseball here in town.  He played tennis until Alzheimer's robbed him of his ability to keep score.  He ran windsprints on the football field at Wesleyan to stay in shape.  And when Alzheimer's prevented him from driving, he rode his three-speed bike all over town.

Reds ran a company over the bridge in Portland, but he poured his heart and soul into Middletown.  He started a student mentoring program which continues to this day.  In fact, three of his grateful mentees visited his bedside in recent days to express their gratitude for Reds' attention.

Reds served three terms on the Board of Education, and from what I've heard, he fought hard to make sure that all the children in Middletown were given the attention they deserved.  Several years ago he, and his wife Jane, were named Citizens of the Year by the Middlesex Chamber of Commerce.

Reds loved to debate, and he was brilliant at it.  Dinner at the McMillan's could startle a newcomer to the table who would find that heated political arguments were followed by hugs all around, and bowls of Ben and Jerry's ice cream (something Reds loved almost as much as sandwiches from Neon Deli).  Reds loved his entire family, and it was normal to end Thanksgiving dinners singing the Princeton fight song, and old Irish standards with brothers and nephews and grandchildren harmonizing.

The last few years have been tough on Reds, and tough on his family.  Alzheimer's is a cruel disease which eventually steals an individual's personhood.  It was difficult to see such a brilliant mind ravaged by the disease.

But as Reds moved into Hospice, and it became known around town that his days were numbered, I heard dozens of stories about how he helped inspire those around him.  He has left a legacy of good works, friendship, guidance and love.

Reds leaves behind a family he has inspired to do good for their families and their communities, and an extended family of friends who understand through his example, that you need to give of yourself, and your good fortune, to help those who need it.

10 comments:

  1. As good a person as you'd ever want to meet (and quite a baseball player in his day and he played for many years) Reds was always a gentleman. As you wrote, it's been a tough stretch of time to watch such a vital man robbed of his personality and then his body.

    Our thoughts go out to Jane and the family.

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  2. Ed, nicely done. Reds, is a man we all admired and who really had his priorities right. His work on behalf of all of the citizens of Middletown will endure, and while his memory has faded in recent years, our memories of him certainly will not. My condolences to his family, especially Jane and Lucy.

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  3. Oh, Ed, I'm so sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with Jane, Lucy, you, and the whole family. One thing I remember most vividly about Reds was his curiosity about anything at which he was not already expert. He had plenty to say on many subjects, but he always listened as well. He will be sore missed.

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  4. Ed - This is beautifully said. We are all so much richer for Reds' devotion to Middletown -- and he has left an amazing legacy, not just with his work, but with his family. Our thoughts and prayers are with Jane, Lucy, the grandkids and all the family -

    -Jen Alexander

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  5. Well said, Ed. I knew Reds and Jane during the years I lived and worked in Middletown from 1983 to the early 90s. What an amazing man and family. Godspeed to Reds in his homegoing, and much peace and love to Jane, Lucy and the rest of the family. Peace, Shawn

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  6. Deborah KleckowskiJune 19, 2010 at 1:03 PM

    I knew Mr. McMillan as a teen and I was honored to have worked with him as an adult setting-up mentoring 'dates" for him with area students. Every meeting Mr. McMillan, would urge me to call him "Reds" as I was now an adult. However,he was always Mr. McMillan, to me, Mr. McMillan with a soft vocie and a broad smile!

    His kindness and commitment to the residents of Middletown was far reaching. He touched the lives of so many who now are able to "pay it forward".

    To Lucy, and her brother Ed,I am so sorry for the loss of your dad.
    Clearly, you are blessed to have his spirit alive in the hearts of so many.

    Ed, your words are a beautiful, heartfelt desciption of a man who gave so much.

    The McMillan family is in our thoughts and prayers.

    Deborah Kleckowski

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  7. Thanks, Ed, for writing such a lovely memorial for Reds. What a wonderful picture you gave. I love the image of him leading the family in the Princeton fight song!

    St. Peter and Co., brace yourselves: "Here Comes That Tiger!"

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  8. I forgot to add my name to my Tiger Tribute to Reds!

    Thanks again, Ed.

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  9. I sang with Reds in the Greater Middletown Chorale. He was a wonderful gentleman with an irrepressible sense of humor! After he stopped singing, I would encounter him once in a while, and the dementia was pretty obvious.....then the sightings stopped. My deepest condolences to Reds' family on his loss....but, what a life!

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  10. Reds McMillan was unique. He was a leader in every endeavor he pursued. He was warm, loving and his loyalty knew no bounds. He was my brother-in-law and will always have a very special place in my heart and be greatly missed. No words can express what a wonderful person he was. The world was certainly a better place for him being in it.

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