Monday, May 19, 2014

“The Dog Barks, But the Caravan Moves On” -- Popcorn by The Colonel # 96 of 100 (only 4 left!)

“None of my critics is important enough for me to respond to, especially the ones that call me arrogant.” -- Jim Geraghty

Why is Humpty-Dumpty always portrayed as an egg? Nothing in the rhyme supports this.

Is brevity always concision?

A “compendium” isn’t what many think it is. It’s an abridgement or an abstract.

Reader’s Digest Condensed Books is now Reader’s Digest Select Editions. Geniuses live there.

“After I lost my [Hindu] religion, I read books of other religions. I read the Bible from cover to cover. I was shocked at what was in it. That's when I understood why scientist and writer Isaac Asimov once said, ‘Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived.’" --Anu Garg

The word with all the synonyms in issue #95 was “arrant.”

“No sadder words of tongue or pen/ Than these four lads: ‘It might have been.’” Oh, really? How about “We find the defendant guilty on all counts,” and you’re the defendant?

What book was called “the worst readable novel in the English language”? Answer: Busman’s Honeymoon, the final Lord Peter Wimsey novel by Dorothy Sayers.

Which is worse, to be gaudily dressed or to be ignored?

Is the difference between Veterans Day and Memorial Day sharp in your mind?

Is the difference between the Ascension and the Assumption sharp in your mind?

Is the difference between the Immacuate Conception and the Virgin Birth sharp in your mind?

The shoe repair department of Igor’s Shoe Repair has closed permanently, according to a sign on its door.

Zefanja Potgeiter has been elected vice president of the National Funny Names Club. The president-for-life is George Papoon.

A National Wildlife Federation tweet: “Watch 200 Whales Swim Around Hawaii Without Getting On A Boat.”

When you re-read a classic, you do not see more in the book than you did before; you see more in yourself than there was before.” -Clifton Fadiman, editor and critic (1904-1999)

A mangagement ring is an engagement ring for a man. Jewelers like the idea. Be sure to pronounce it “man-gagement,” not “manga-gement.”

“I never lose sight of the fact that just being is fun.” -Katharine Hepburn, actress (1907-2003).

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is ‘thank you,’ it will be enough.” --Meister Eckhart

To some heretical Muslims, the “lesser jihad” is holy war and the “greater jihad” is the struggle of the individual Muslim against the base desires of the self. --Wikiislam

“Words are loaded pistols.” -Jean-Paul Sartre, writer and philosopher (1905-1980)

“Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time; I have the feeling I’ve forgotten this before.” --Steven Wright

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